VonDuzi is a highly private, loosely organized collection of people, animals, and questionable decisions. We are very good at the latter.

Current “operations” include but are not limited to and may also not include:

• Raising chickens, cows, and other livestock that may or may not respect authority.

• Maintaining a rotating population of dogs with strong opinions (and jaws), they don’t like you, we promise.

• Managing children at various stages of chaos, anarchy, and lack of discipline.

• Operating a sports complex that exists primarily for reasons unknown to everyone, including us.

• Cooking outside more often than necessary, which is entirely necessary.

• Buying stuff and then refusing to explain anything about it, this website is really just for reasons we cannot explain.

For those wondering… “VonDuzi” loosely translates to “Nunya.” As in… Nunya business.

We are not open to the public. Trespassers will be shot and fed to the pigs. We are not accepting inquiries. We are not interested in optimizing anything. We definitely are not interested in your opinion.

If you’re here by accident, welcome and congrats. That was probably hard to do.

If you’re here on purpose… that’s a little concerning and you should know, we already do not like you.

Either way… you’ve learned everything you’re going to learn. Now beat it.